“What I feel about being a woman and a mother is that at all points we need to raise our children with the belief that we are enough because as an individual we are WHOLE (we are complete) and from us a part has grown and become a complete whole. This whole child has come out of us which means if we are “enough” to bring it into this world, so we are enough to nurture it and now in our role as mothers we are also individuals, women, daughter-in-law, wives, career women and what we need to understand is in all our roles WE ARE ENOUGH and we will try to do our best every day.”
The idea of the “GOOD ENOUGH” mother was first posited by British pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott in the 1950’s. After studying thousands of mothers and their babies, he came to the enlightened conclusion that the way to be a good mother was to be a “GOOD-ENOUGH MOTHER”. Being a perfect mother is neither possible nor desirable. Winnicott's good-enough mother is not so much a goddess, she is a gardener. She tends her baby with love, patience, effort and care.
Some areas will of course get neglected and some areas catch on and go forward, whereas some areas will procrastinate. But the first point we started with is that WE ARE ENOUGH and working on ourselves, our career, working with our family and child have to be from where we are absolutely guilt-free. But bringing up a baby who is calm and content be that simple- a regular routine, plenty of sleep, enough food, and the avoidance of over-stimulation? Well, the answer is yes!
You'll only be guilt-free if just like your breath you let go of everything that you are holding on. If you are holding on to your breath and saying that:
“I am not being able to do this.”
“I am not being able to achieve that.”
“Nothing is good enough!”
“I am not good enough to raise these children.”
“I am not doing a great job at this point.”
This means you are not able to let go; so, you are going to hold on to guilt and everyone dreams of a guilt-free parenting, guilt-free careers.
Stay Tuned for my next blog on “I GET 24 HOURS EVERYDAY SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE”